You Make Me Laugh Little Girl


Colin_icon.gif Moxie_icon.gif

Summary: Having only 16 days remaining to come up with rent and a bag full of new toys gives Moxie a very Bad Idea, which leads to Colin calling the police on her.

Date It Happened: December 14, 2001

You Make Me Laugh Little Girl

Union 76

Like convenience stores get after hours, this one's rather quiet. There's someone outside using the air pump and the whirrrrrrring noise of the pump can be heard for the moment. It'll die out in the next minute or so. Inside the lone clerk is wiping down the counter because a line of customers just got done keeping him busy. One of them spilled part of a 7-Up there and it'll get sticky if he doesn't wipe it up now.

The muted sounds of the local Spanish language radio station play in the background.

The fall of footsteps crossing the cracked pavement out front heralds the girl's arrival; or at least it /seems/ to be a girl under closer scrutiny. Moxie's taking some advantage of her lack of curves, wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt, the hood hiding her long hair. Of course, most guys probably wouldn't wear those oversized sunglasses, except maybe Elton John. She keeps her hands in her pockets, something very large shoved into one of them - though she can't quite make it fit all the way, so the rest is obscured by her sleeve. Reaching the door, she shoulders her way inside rather than pulling free a hand, and then she begins to peruse the selection, not at /all/ suspiciously as she cases the joint.

Dios mio. Ramon sees a dozen of these every day. He thinks the girl's a shoplifter so he gets a broom and starts sweeping the floor in front of the counter, making sure to keep an eye on her with the help of the mirrors and furtive glances. Privately he decides if she just takes a candy bar he won't do anything. Good thing the rubbers and smokes are behind the counter.

Moxie doesn't seem interested in either of those things - she's not that sort of bad girl, at least not yet. Then again, she's not going for the chocolate either. No, she just makes her way down one aisle and back up the next, bringing her back towards the counter with what passes for furtive glances at poor Ramon. Finally coming up to him, she doesn't fully lift her head when she speaks, her voice kept low but in an attempt at a calm, conversational tone. "So hey, man. I'm going to need you to give me the cash." She moves her hand in her pocket just enough to indicate she's packing … heat? Or something.

Ramon's not a small guy. He probably weighs 250, about six feet. So he leans on his broom and says very deliberately with a stare, "…is that right? Or you gonna what, little girl?" Obviously little girl because of the stature and the voice at this point. A twinge of something nags at the back of Ramon's head though. What if that's really a gun she's got in that pocket?

Moxie narrows her eyes behind those sunglasses as she gets called a little girl. "You don't wanna know 'or what', trust me. So just get the cash and you don't have to find out," she replies in a steelier tone, but still trying to keep it calm and reasoned, like she practised in front of the mirror. "You really think I'd come in here if I didn't have something to back it up? Get the cash."

"Miha, I see lots guys come in here sayin that shit. I been robbed five times. Just me, not counting the other guys that run this store. You ain't the robber type, so walk your ass out the door," Ramon makes fingerwalking motions toward the door, "before I call the cops or beat your ass with this broom."

"Then you know how this goes, you been robbed that much," Moxie replies, getting more annoyed as the guy condescends to her some more. "I need cash, and you need to not end up dead over a shit job that pays minimum wage. Trust me, ese, it's not worth it." She sounds so … white, trying to use his own slang. Her grip tightens just a little around the handle of that thing she's still keeping hidden in her pocket.

A jerk of his head and Ramon asks, eyes on her pocket, "Show me your gun, little girl." He's got one of those I Dare You looks. Yeah. Very much condescending.

Okay, do or die time, even if this isn't Bed-Stuy. "This isn't a gun," Moxie informs him solemnly, before offering up a broadening grin. "It's something even better. For me." Less so for him. She hopes. But since she's pretty sure he's not going to believe her at her word, she pulls it from her pocket, having to struggle just a little to get it free. And then she levels the business end of it at him.

That's when the laughter begins. Ramon can't help it. "A HAIRDRYER? Oh shit!" He laughs a little and then takes a step toward the girl to grab her by the arm. "Get the fuck outta here. You make me laugh little girl but you gonna piss me off if you keep messin' with me so go on."

"Don't /touch/ me!" Moxie exclaims, finally losing her cool as he /laughs/ at her. She has no idea what it will do, but in a fit of frustration, anger, and a desire to teach this guy a lesson or two, she jerks back a step and pulls the trigger. In afterthought, she kind of hopes it won't kill him, oops.

There's a humming sensation in the hand of the one who pulls the trigger, but there's no actual light or sound or anything to animate the fact the device is actually working. What does show is the look on Ramon's face as it stops him dead in his tracks and he looks completely distracted. Almost like he's being spoken to by someone else who isn't there to hear. The point is he never makes it to Moxie and the broom in his hands clatters to the floor without ceremony.

The only sound in the store is the Mexican polka on the radio.

Moxie lets go of the trigger after a moment, seeming a little, well, confused by the results of her trigger-happy moment. He's not dead, so that's good. "Uh," she speaks, finally, not quite sure what to say. So she waves a hand in front of his face to see if that will get any sort of reaction, taking a small step towards him.

Standing there, Ramon looks dazed. Blinks. Comes out of the haze a bit. "Hey." he says with a sappy grin at Moxie. "Sorry…what were you sayin?" he asks, tone of voice in a whole other strata of communication now. This is more like someone offering to give directions or the time of day.

"The … money?" Moxie prods, a little uncertain, but then growing more bold since the guy doesn't seem about the grab her this time, and hey, he's stopped laughing. "You were getting me the cash. All of it." She might as well take advantage of what seems to be memory loss.

"No I wasn't." Ramon says distractedly, smiling kindly. "You shouldn't do that. But I mean, I wouldn't do that cuz I'd lose my job. I don't wanna lose my job." Like saying he doesn't wanna cross the street right now. If this were a Dr. Scholls commercial, he is SO gellin'.

"Yeah, yeah, times are tough all over," Moxie mutters in reply, not exactly swayed by this indifferent argument. But her gaze flickers between the man and the gun, trying to figure out just what's going on. Okay, so memory loss doesn't seem to be the problem, and he doesn't take orders. He doesn't really DO anything. "What about if I take the money? I don't got a job to lose." She begins edging around him towards the cash register.

"Oh that's okay then." Ramon says, nodding as if it makes plenty of sense. And no, he doesn't remotely make a move to stop her. Just stands there.

Headlights illuminate the door briefly as a car pulls up outside to park.

Moxie cuts a glance over towards the door as it lights up. She's not dumb and realizes quickly that her time is running short. "Cool," she replies, flashing Ramon a quick grin before stepping jauntily around him and making a dash to the register. It takes a moment to figure out how to get the damn thing open, but once it is, she just starts pulling free all the bills, cramming them into her pockets.

Lazily Ramon bends over to pick up his broom and blink. He walks back toward the wall behind the counter where the smokes are kept to put the broom where it belongs.

Through the door walks a familiar face. Colin Caird! And he's got a Thing in his hands that looks like some kind of PDA with a glowy antenna coming off of it. Immediately his eyes go to first Ramon (who goes, "Can I help you sir?" and smiles) and then to Moxie. "YOU!" he shouts, pointing right at her. "You took it!" Jig's up it seems.

Moxie quickly finishes up and slams the cash register drawer shut just as the door opens, trying to act like she belongs behind the counter (which might be an easier sell if she wasn't wearing that get up). When Colin yells at her, her eyebrows lift high enough to appear over the top of those large shades and her gaze flickers to the cash register drawer, figuring at first that's what he's accusing her of taking. But then recognition sets in, and her brow furrows. "I have /no/ idea what you're talking about," she quickly denies.

"I've already called the police!" declares Colin. He's wearing a long grey coat and pulls it back to reveal that he is strapped with STUFF. Various lights blink on things strapped to holsters and belts and pouches all over a body suit that seems made to do nothing but carry things. Immediately he draws what looks for all the world like a ray-gun (although different from anything Moxie's got) and points it at her. "Show it to me right now." he demands.

Lazily Ramon protests from the side, "Hey man, don't go pointin' stuff at people. That's not right…"

Moxie still isn't exactly sure what it /does/, but when Colin pulls his crazy gun-thing on her, she instinctively pulls hers on him, bringing up the would-be hair dryer and levelling it at him, inadvertently doing basically what he asked, if maybe not in the way he meant. "Dude, /so/ not cool. I can't believe you called the cops! This guy doesn't even /care/, okay?" Because she assumes Colin's called them about the hold up.

Colin's response to Moxie pulling the Pax Ray is for him to SHOOT it. There's a brief moment when it seems to grow intensely cold and then it just vanishes. Poof. Right out of Moxie's hands. "Where are the others?" he asks, "They're very dangerous, ESPECIALLY the Multifunction Death Ray." So apparently he has no intention of harming her at all!

Ramon watches that go on with an open mouth and says in wonder, "How'd you do that?"

"/Hey/!" Moxie yells in protest as the neat little gun thing just up and disappears. "I'm not telling you /anything/. You gonna vanish me?" she challenges, beginning to edge out from behind the counter, hoping she can shortly make a break for the door and get out of here before those cops show up. "Wait, Death Ray?" That gives her a brief pause as she gives him a curious look; a few days ago, she might have disregarded out of hand, but enough of weird stuff has happened, she can't quite brush it off so easily.

"No no no," Colin says impatiently in that Scottish brogue of his, sighing. "This isn't a weapon, it's a pattern interferometer. It stores things. But not if they have a biometric field." Like the sudden lecture will explain much of anything. "Now quickly before the police arrive, give me the items!"

At this point Ramon's just staring.

"Do I /look/ like I'm carrying them?" Moxie points out, spreading her arms wide. A few bills flutter to the ground from her pocket. She glances down at them and then looks up innocently, like she has no idea how /that/ happened. "So you can't use that on me?" she confirms, glancing at the door.

"Well no, but…don't you get any ideas!" Colin warns, shaking the pattern interferometer threateningly at Moxie, as if it'll do anything. "You stay put!" Too bad he had to step away from the door to shoot the Pax Ray out of her hand.

And….uh oh. It's right about then that red and blue lights begin strobing outside.

"Yeah, right!" Moxie replies incredulously, though her eyes widen at the signs of those flashing lights. "Thanks man!" she tosses out to Ramon for his cooperation thus far, taking a deep breath, fixing her hood, squaring her shoulders, and then attempting to make a break for it, though at least she's got enough sense to head for the back, figuring there's an exit out that way.

Ramon waves, "Bye…" and looks as Moxie bolts for the back door.

Colin continue to protest, though once the girl's hunting for the alley entrance he's only so much background noise. The Spanish radio blares louder back there, in fact, almost drowning out the sirens that pull up outside. Oh yeah, those sirens are there.

And waiting in the alley for Moxie is a female cop with her pistol out and trained on the ground. Until the door opens, upon which it quickly becomes trained on Moxie. "ON THE GROUND NOW!" she shouts, out of breath because she ran around the side of the building to get here.

Moxie looks wildly around, trying to figure some way out of this one. In a fit of inspiration, she immediately ducks right back inside, yanks the door shut and makes a break for the front again. Because of course the cops won't think to cover the front of the store? But it's not like she's thinking these things through at this point. As she goes dashing back through the store, she leaves a stream of curses, bursting out through the front and fully prepared to keep running, since apparently optimism is hard to stamp out.

By the time Moxie makes it to the front of the store, Colin himself is on the floor, hands over his head with a huge black male cop standing over him. Ramon is standing back with his hands up. Oh yeah. "Stop right there!" he shouts. There's nowhere to run!

Moxie takes in the situation, letting out a sigh and looking skywards before lifting her hands in defeat. "I'm - I'm not armed," she informs him. Thanks to Colin, it's even true! Of course, it will be a little harder to deny the robbery part of armed robbery, what with the pockets full of cash and the empty register. As the adrenaline begins to flag, the girl starts looking scared.

There's a pounding at the alley door. Apparently that door locks from the outside! Female cop in the alley can't get in so her voice is all over the radio on the black cop's belt. "Door's locked. White female, approximately eighteen years of age running into…" Yeah all that noise. Black cop orders louder, "Face! Down! On! The! Floor!"

Colin: "Do as he says!"

"QUIET!" Shouts the cop at Colin.


Moxie gives her hands a little shake as if to indicate that they're already up, what more does the guy want. But she does finally comply, muttering a string of very dirty words a girl her age shouldn't even know. Once she's down, she puts her hands up behind her head, knocking her forehead lightly against the ground a few times in frustration, muttering, "Stupid, stupid…"

In the next couple of hours the place seems to swarm with cops, most of them end up standing around as if there's something to see here. Even though nothing went on. After an excruciating number of questions. Ramon seems to come more properly to his senses as the effects he was shot with wear off. In the end Moxie seems to be going to jail to at least spend the night on a charge of simple robbery, although not aggravated because nobody can find the weapon she was accused of using.

Colin gets reamed as well, but verbally only as he is searched and various crazy gadgets are found on his person. Fortunately their uses are not apparent and none of those uses seem to be weapons or explosives or (most importantly) illegal, so he doesn't take a ride.

Moxie learns a few interesting facts. Cops don't automatically read you your rights when they arrest you. Nor are they polite to prisoners, at least not LAPD. And when the female cop conducts a search of Moxie she learns that they REALLY search you. It's a bad night.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License