Cheezburgr Woes


Emeline_icon.gif Princess_icon.gif Seth_icon.gif

Summary: Princess and Seth accidentally find Emeline, who claims Princess as her own. Violence follows.

Date It Happened: December 13, 2001

Cheezburgr Woes

Lin Sister Herbal

Shelves upon shelves line the walls of Lin Sister Herbal and filled with jars and bottles of dried herbs. It's a small shop that's been in Chinatown for years. Painted colorfully in reds and gold, it smells distinctly and strongly of the many herbal remedies prescribed here. Most of the signs are in Chinese and only some of them have English translations (not all of them correct). The decorations include two large posters have outlines of human bodies with the proper points for acupressure and acupuncture. Two scrolls paintings with Chinese calligraphy hang on either side of the entrance. An ornately cared bird cage hangs behind the register that houses two brightly colored tree kingfishers.

Lin Sister herbal is quiet. It's getting on later in the day and the sun is just about to set. Rearranging the herbs on the back wall, the kingfishers are twittering in the background and Emelin is humming the Sex Pistols quietly to herself. Not really dressed like she should be running an herbal store, she has on a pair of black jeans and a faded black top. One that's seen the washer too many times. It has a picture of the Queen on it and ripped up letters over her eyes saying 'God Save the Queen'. Perhaps that's why she's singing the Sex Pistols. Jars are pulled down and then lined back up again in mostly the same order they were in before - but it's something to do.

The door to the shop opens and in strolls a warlock. Why? Because he's heard Things about this store, and he was in the neighborhood. Seth holds said door open with one hand as he limps his way inside, his other hand hoisting his cane clear of the floor. It'll make walking harder, sure, but it'll make it easier to annoyingly poke things. As a result the door is open quite a lot longer than it has a right to be. "I'm looking for dangerous substances. Have any?"

Jingajingajingajinga! A longhair calico cat complete with pink collar comes trotting into the shop like he (it is a he!) owns the joint. Without any care at all to who or what might be in it, he leaps smoothly up onto the counter next to the register and peers at the kingfishers in their cage. o hai thar birdeez wat u doin?

When the door opens, Emeline is lifting a rather heavy and full jar of Hydrangea Root into it's new spot when the door opens. The question shot at her by Seth is greeted with a somewhat puzzled expression. Taking a moment to phrase her reply, she finally says, "Just about anything can be dangerous if used properly. What would it be that you're looking for exactly?" Her London accent slips through quite noticeably. And she may actually study Seth some more if the long haired calico didn't jump up onto the counter. "No! Bad cat! You stay away from those birds!" Shoving the jar back into it's new spot, she quickly moves to scoop up the cat and get him away from the cage.

"Anything hallucinogenic. Wormwood if you've got it." Then: GASP. "Princess! What are you doing here?" Seth swings his cane out accusingly towards the counter and the woman who is suddenly holding his cat, starting to move very fiercely towards Emeline at the fastest pace he can manage to summon without causing himself pain. "He is not a bad cat, you hag. He's a darling."

There is no struggle from "Princess" when he's lifted by the "strange woman". Just feline disappointment. He was lookin' at those birdeez :<

Upon a little closer inspection, though, the cat suddenly starts to purr very loudly and headbutts Emeline's chin with great force. WHUMP PRRR PRRRR PRRRRRRRR. HAI NICE LADY I FOUND U

"Princess?" Emeline looks down at the calico that she's suddenly holding and then up at Seth. "You named a boy cat Princess? What is wrong with you?" Never one to hold back, blinks at the purring and affection that she's suddenly being shown. That's not normal. There are a lot of calico cats in Los Angeles and while Emeline has been frantically searching everywhere for this one, the idea that she's finally found him hasn't yet sunk in. "And don't call me a hag, limpy." At the head butt, she blinks again and studies 'Princess'. Hm. She's not about to let him go, especially not into the arms of this mean and evil man. Hag indeed.

Seth makes it up to the woman in an absolute huff, the head of his cane (which is carved like a cat!) being jammed so close to Emeline's face it might as well be picking her nose. "Calicos are generally female. I didn't feel the need to check until later, and the name stuck. It's my cat and I'll name him as I please. Release the feline."


Princess stops his facerubbing all over Emeline's face when the head of a cane is introduced. Unfazed, he immediately turns his affections on the cane. Rubrubrub, PRRRRR PRRRRRRRR PRRRRRRRR. LOOK NICE LADY, I FOUND NICE CANE MAN TOO

Paying no mind to Seth and stepping back out of the way of his cane, Emeline pets the purring cat and studies him some more. The purring, the affection, the fact that this is a boy calico cat. Supporting him under his front paws, she holds 'Princess' out a bit to look at him more. "…June-bug?" No, it can't be. Honestly? After all this time, he just walks right into the store and finds her again. "Where'd you get this cat?" she looks up at Seth piercingly and pulls the cat closer to her body as if to protect him.

"Princess wandered into my life on his own terms. It's none of your business, so let go of my cat. Last warning." Otherwise, Seth will start up the magical mojo. You do not mess with NICE CANE MAN and his feline friends, because he takes them super seriously. The cane is flipped around and tucked beneath Seth's arm when Emeline lifts Princess at an arm's length, smoothly trying to steal back the cat by cupping the kitty's chest and rump.

PRRRR PRRRRRRR PRRRRR. At the sound of his real name (or nickname, whatever), "Princess" lets out a quiet "prrrmawr". And then he's being … well, he's being sorta tug-o-war'd. It doesn't seem to matter to him, really, because he likes both NICE CANE MAN and NICE LADY lots. The purr motor continues to grind.

While Emeline would like to fight with Seth about the cat, she's not about to pull him to pieces. Not if this is actually her friend. When Seth takes a firm hold of the cat's hind quarters, she lets go. She will quite certainly mess with this cane man, especially if it leads to her finding and changing June back to his proper form. "That is my cat. And his name isn't Princess." Approaching, she will take that cat back if she has to. To explain that this is actually a strange and rude Israeli who was cursed into being a cat isn't exactly her first course of action here.

"Oh, baby, shhhhh. Don't worry. The mean hag lady can't hurt you any more." This is Seth as people rarely get to see him - when Emeline releases Princess the cat is pulled back into the warlock's arms and outright cuddled against his chest in a way that most people would dote upon their first and only grandchildren. Princess might as well be the most precious thing in the world, and Seth seeks to convey this by giving the calico plenty of scritchings and ear-rubs. "You're such a good boy, yes. Yes. You are. We're going to curse this woman if she dares to touch you again, aren't we? Yesshooshoo." That last part wasn't even English.

And still "Princess" continues to purr all the louder. He sure likes NICE CANE MAN. NICE CANE MAN is nice. But at the word "curse", the cat stops purring and just stares at Seth. Then at Emeline. Then at Seth again. He doesn't like that word. That word is a bad bad word.

That certainly is a bad word. Because Emeline knows all about curses. Too much, in fact and when Seth doesn't give Princess back, she glares at him. "That is not your cat. Nor your baby. You have no idea what you're meddling in. You must give him back to me so I can fix him." And no, not fix as in neuter him.

The cane is suddenly brandished again, Seth moving his support of the cat to be the responsibility of a single arm. "He is most definitely my cat. He lives in my house and I pay for his food. Step off, plant hag." A wave of the cane accentuates this last command. "Princess comes home with me as he should. And then he gets last night's leftover salmon, would he like that? Yummy salmon. Mildred will never know, it'll be our secret."

Fix. Fix. "Princess" knows that word, too, and it is also a very bad bad word. The sense in which she says it, though, is probably not all that bad. He starts up a purr again, but it is not as loud as before. WHY DO MOMMY AND DADDY HAVE TO FIGHT?

"Stop calling him Princess. That is not his name." The brandishing of the cane only causes Emeline to get her own broom so that she can have something to knock it against and defend herself with. And when she has no limp and he's at a disadvantage of holding and cradling a cat, well. "He traveled with from New York to here. That is the same cat. He obviously knows me. I've posted flyers. Please. You honestly don't know the situation you've found yourself in. Just put down the cat and I won't beam you over the head with this broom."

Seth juggles the cat gently, putting the purring beast against his shoulder so he doesn't have to see Mommy and Daddy fighting. As for that cane, something in the air around it starts to crackle and snap - and the cane is very suddenly glowing. It's probably a bad sign, and one that indicates its owner being Through with taking threats from the Plant Hag. "Try me." And then: ZAP. An arc of what looks like black lightning shoots from the bone handle of the cane, heading straight for Emeline.

It was all well and good before magic came into play. Really, it was. But when NICE CANE MAN attacks NICE LADY with AIEEEE, "Princess" stops liking the situation and goes into full GTFO Mode. The purr quickly turns into a yowl and the nice loving cat quickly transforms into a ball of fluff and claws and teeth and rage. Which is inconveniently unleashed right on Seth's shoulder. Should he get released, "Princess" will make for the nearest hiding spot, wherever it may be.

It's the crackling of energy that immediately tips Emeline that something magical - or at least bad - is about to happen. Luckily, it's that tell-tale sign that gives the woman enough time to build up a basic shield around herself. It's not exactly pretty, nor is it all that strong. In fact, having to do it so quickly makes it kind of patchy and visibly tires the woman. However, the arc of lightning bounces off the handle of the broom that the young woman brought up to deflect and buries itself into the wall with a loud crack. With a quick hand, she moves to steady herself on the counter behind her, but tries to brush it off as merely absorbing the blow as opposed to fatigue from such a simple spell. "I've seen better," she growls, shaking her head just enough to get her hair out of her eyes. There are multiple hiding spots in Lin Sister Herbal, shelves and tables and chairs, all perfect for kitty hiding.

"Augh! Dammit, Princess!" But Seth can't stay angry at the darling for long. He lets Princess go almost immediately, knowing far better than to hang on to an angry cat. This has the side effect of giving the warlock the ability to place his full attention on Emeline, which is not the best thing in the world to happen to her. He lowers his cane and uses it to support himself, his right hand coming up in front of him. The same telltale signs of energy begin to gather around it and the man eyeballs the woman, an inappropriately happy smile coming to his face. "I wasn't trying. If you want me to try, all you have to do is say 'please', hag."

"Princess" makes it under a nearby table, where he crouches and peers out again, fluffed to the max to show just how big and tough he is. But when Seth starts to summon something more, the cat rushes out again and leaps right in between the two magic users. He flattens his ears and opens his jaws wide to let out a vicious hassss!. While he doesn't strike at Seth, he does make it pretty clear: no hurting NICE LADY plz. And no hurting NICE CANE MAN plz.

Taking a deep breath, the brunette just glares at Seth. Luckily, Junayd has fled his evil grasp and she can find him at her own leisure. "I'm sure. But as this is private property, however, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Now." And before he can scoop up his 'Princess', hopefully. "Limp along, old man." Though she's not sure she would really be able to deflect anything stronger, she starts to attempt to. All the talking and threatening is only giving her more time to focus her will to strengthen and patch up her hasty and badly made deflection. In a final way, she waves the business end of the broom at him, as if to literlly sweep him away like the dirt on the floor.

Oh, Emeline must be tripping balls if she thinks Seth is going anywhere without Princess. But first it must be said that "I'm not old, hag. C'mon, Princess; let's go get Mildred's salmon. She doesn't deserve to have it for lunch at work tomorrow anyway." The warlock limps towards the door and then pulls it open, only to stand aside and hold it that way to offer Princess a convenient way out of the shop. The sparks of magic have dissipated - apparently Seth still doesn't think Emeline is worth the effort.

But by the time Seth has turned around again, "Princess" has disappeared. Where? Who knows? Out the door, somewhere in the store? The cat moved so fast, it's hard to tell exactly where he went. "June-Bug is gone gone gone.

For once, Emeline will be glad to be thought less of. At least for now. "Older," she tells him with a sniff. "And I'm certainly not a hag. I'm prettier than you." Which is her matter of opinion, so she can say it. "Don't listen to the mean man, June, you're safe here." Because she'll keep him here and find a way to break his own curse. Even though the sparks of magic have dissipated, the woman doesn't let her guard down, or her shield. Confident that she'll find Princess somewhere in the store, she smirks at Seth. "Oh dear. It looks like your cat doesn't want to go home with you or your salmon. Pity."

UTTER DISMAY. Seth is crushed when Princess isn't trotting out in front of him, but in the long run it'll be OKAY, because he knows where Emeline works and he can find his cat again. For the time being he still has another cat at home to cuddle at night, so he'll probably survive. "Mildred is bad at making salmon. I'll be back for Princess later, plant hag." Princess may not have left the building, but in the next few moments the Badass formerly known as Limpy has.

"Don't let the door hit you on you're way out, you mean old bastard." Emeline hisses, not really caring if Seth hears her. "By the time you come back here, Junayd'll be back to normal." Sh sighs and looks around what seems to be an empty store - no other companions expect the birds. "I hope."

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